Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I smell like I did in High School

Well, no planes were jumped out of no Hot Air Balloon rides were had and no catastrophic event happened on the 10 year anniversary BUT I did go for a run(even though my doctor told me not too.  Running bulls in Pamplona couldn't keep me from running on this day), made a necklace at this really cool place in Valley Junction(everything was half off, SCORE), hung out with my sister, went to a cool Italian grocery store to pick up some essentials that can only be found there(the good stuff at least), and then got all fancied up and went to church. As I ran around Gray's Lake, I took note of the weather, it was the same chilly almost rainly gray weather as the day she died.  As I ran I became overwhelmed with blessings that I was thanking God for, that he had given me over the past 10 years.  I cried for half of my run because I was so overwhelmed with love and thankfulness from how far I've come and everything that I've been blessed with. Yeah, I think my mom would have approved of that schedule!  I'm still having a hard time believing its been 10 years.  Some people might say, 10 years, get over it already.  Well, how about we take away YOUR best friend(and mom) and see how you feel 10 years later.  Take my word for it, because I would never wish this on anyone, you'll still feel every bit of that hurt everyday no matter if it was yesterday or 100 years ago.  Some days are just easier than others to handle the hurt.  I also feel like everything reminds me of that time of my life.  I know its probably just a coincidence but during my run I kept smelling my mom's perfume.  I'm a smell person as well as a memory person so I remember smells and the memories attached to them.  I know what my mom's perfume smells like and i kept smelling it.  I don't use the same detergent she used, I don't wear the same lotion/perfume/soap/anything as she used but I kept smelling it waft across my nasal path as I ran.  And today,  I keep smelling myself, don't get gross here, its a combo of my perfume(ok it is Estee Lauder but its not the same kind as my mom used), my laundry detergent/softener, my soap(yes I showered today) and my hair products and all of that rolled into one makes me smell like I did in High school.  It makes me smell like Lucky perfume, weird.  Well at least I don't smell bad?  And sometimes you just need to write something down, as is the theme of this post!  Happy Wednesday everyone!

Monday, November 8, 2010

It's been 84 years, and I can still smell the fresh paint.

If you've ever seen the movie, Titanic, you know exactly where that line comes from.  Well this Saturday, November 13, 2010 marks the 10 year anniversary of the worst day of my life.  My mom died, very suddenly, 10 years ago and I can still remember the smallest of details throughout that entire week, so I'm asking you all out there in the blogosphere for help, I need something to do in the Des Moines area that will make me look forward to this Saturday.  Any and all ideas are welcome!  To read about what happened you can go to My Journey page.  It's not even close to being finished but its a start and I'll be adding to it periodically.