Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Crying in the girls' room...........

No it's not what you think! But I have done a lot of cryin' in the girls' room, and not because a guy broke my heart or some vicious rumor was circulating about me.  For some reason I find solace in bathrooms, call it a weird quirk but it is true.  I think it is because bathrooms are a place where people don't bother you, or its socially unacceptable to bother someone else in a bathroom, everyone minds their own business so whether someone is in the next stall or not you can cry your eyes out as much as you want and no one will say a word.  My mom died on our bathroom floor at home almost 10 years ago and I would go lay on the floor where she took her last breath and remember and cry, the type of cry that no matter how hard you fight it, its going to keep coming until there are no more tears left.  Whenever I hear of someone dying, I immediately run to the closest bathroom because the tears are going to burst out before I can even realize what is happening.  Today I learned of a friend's dad who passed away.  She and I have been friends since first grade and have continued to be friends ever since.  As soon as I could, I grabbed my phone to call her and ran out the door to the bathroom.  She picked up the phone with tears in her voice and we just cried.  I had visited her a couple weeks ago, for the first time since her wedding two years ago, in the mean time she also had a son whom I had never met.  We call/email but this is the first time I had visited and it was fantastic because her parents stopped by also.  I remember driving home that day, and thinking that it was a perfect day.  It was a bright sunny day, my sister let me drive her new car so I was driving with the sunroof open down the highway with very few cars on it, just me, my thoughts and an open road, visited an old friend, got to see her wonderful parents, and going to church to top off the day.  It truly was a perfect day.  There's just some special bond between a person and the parents of his/her childhood friends.  They sometimes become your second set of parents.  My friend's parents are wonderful, they do remind me of my own.  Even after I moved away and would come back home to visit we would start the conversation like no time had passed and like I still lived down the gravel road.  I think I knew that day, as I drove away from her house,  I would never see her dad again.  She had said it was only a matter of months the doctors had given him after a long battle with cancer.  I've never had to deal with a family member or friend having cancer let alone losing someone to cancer, but I have had to deal with death, more than one should ever have to deal with it at the age of 26.  For the past 11 years, I've gone to at least one funeral a year and very few of them had been older people who had lived a full life and it was "just the end of their road". They were a friend, a little girl, my mom, parents of my friends, siblings of my friends, people who still had their entire lives ahead of them.  Every time I hear of a death, I'm reminded that God has such bigger plans than we can even imagine.  What we see as unfair or too soon, He sees as just right and perfect, for those that follow Him.  While some people I may not see in Heaven, some I know I will.  Because we have put our faith, hope and trust in the Lord and because of that we will meet again someday.  Every time I go to a funeral, I'm reminded that by making the decision to follow the Lord I secured an amazing fate when I die.  And I am no longer scared of death.  So if you're reading this, and you're not sure where you'll end up when you die, let me know.  I'd love to see you again someday!

1 comment:

  1. Megan, I'm crying. This is Cancer Awareness month and I remember my dad and I miss him so much yet today. He died when he was 49 on Sept. 1, 1968. Your dad will remember him.
    Life is a mystery and Faith is the key to surviving it. Tears can cleanse the body. I never had them when the times was there. Now it seems as tho they are here all the time.
    I'm thinking of you, little girl. You have not grown up in my mind yet. God Bless
    Pam P.